Dear Readers,
Good day to all five of you.
Apparently my staff have received numerous complaints in recent weeks: one complaint by an expecting mother, apparently upset about our take on babies in bars, and the other by a single woman in the NYC area who claims that I "sound like an ass and a manho." I can assure you that my staff and our writers here at SomeoneMadeMe have been working round the clock to deliver the crappiest, time wastingest blog content they can drum up, and I can also assure you that their goal probably isn't to piss people off (OK, I'm not 100% certain of this). But these folks are working hard, people.
That said, given that we've now upset 40% of our readership, and given the alarming news my staff passed my way this morning regarding the estimated value of this blog, I'll be conducting an internal review to try and get to the bottom of this. While it's true that I know you're here, wasting your time, and you know you're here, wasting your time, I think it's important that we here at SomeoneMadeMe consider this reader feedback carefully and respectfully. Frankly, a decline in readership of 2 could significantly impact our profit forecasts, and the investors don't want any part of that.
Accordingly, we will be doing everything in our power in the coming weeks and months to ensure that that our readers remain satisfied with the time they waste with our crappy content. A wise man once said, "you can please some of the people all of the time, and please all of the people some of the time, but you cannot please all of the people all of the time." Then again, I think he was talking about way more than 5 people.
We thank you for your dedication to the wasting of time and the rambling prose of others.
Yours truly,
The SomeoneMadeMe.com Family
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